How to Cook a Cow Head

Upon close inspection the object turned out to be a cow's severed head. The whole head, eyeballs, teeth and even the hair could be seen through the thin plastic. Someone had placed a green Christmas bow on top and written the name "Fluffy" below the price tag.

So there I was, sleep deprived, debt spiraling out of control, surrounded by neighbors who hated me, and staring Fluffy in the face. I thought it had to be a prank some local farm kids were playing, and the fine employees of "Shop'n Kart" just hadn't caught it yet. Surely no sane person would try to sell the whole head of a cow as if it were just any other supermarket perishable. Surely this sort of item would have been sold directly to a butcher, and not named Fluffy and decorated with a Christmas bow.

Later that night we were still haunted by visions of Fluffy. I called the store and tried not to break into laughter as I asked, "do you have a head of beef?" When the person on the other end of the phone told me in a mater-of-fact tone that they did indeed have the head of a cow for sale, my faith in mankind reached the end of it's path to destruction.

From that point on I no longer had any respect for the people of my hometown. I feel no kinship for people who can walk past a cow's head laying in their grocer's freezer and see it as business as usual.