How to Cook a Cow Head

Once we got settled in, we got to know our neighbors. The apartment above us housed a guy we nicknamed "redneck" who would have loud white trash shouting matches with his girlfriend during the day, and then have loud white trash sex with his girlfriend at night. I don't think he liked us very much after my girlfriend called the cops on them during one of there more violent sounding fights.

The people who shared a wall with us were some kind of college punks who seemed to be living off daddy's money. They put a sub-woofer next our common wall, and played loud music roughly 22.7 hours per day. I don't mind loud music, but I did work at 6 AM and then went to school until 6 PM. My girlfriend had to watch Jerry Springer every night, so I usually didn't get to sleep until about 3 AM. This made me cranky, and I don't think these neighbors liked us anymore after I called the cops on them at 1 AM for partying too loud.

The neighbors on the other side of us never really caused too many problems, but they had an annoying habit of leaving trash outside their door in the walkway that we shared. I don't think they liked us either, after we called the cops to report their truck parked in a handicapped space at 2 AM.

We had so much fun watching this fool be awakened and served a parking ticket at 2 AM, that over the next week we became late night anonymous handicapped parking enforcement volunteers. Four nights in a row I called the police between 2 and 3 AM to report handicapped parking violations at our complex. The fourth night the police had apparently grown tired of the game, as they just quit coming out.