Deadbeats Cause Decline in Record Sales

The loop of transactions created by steps 3 and 4 are crucial to the profitability of record companies. The price of CDs clearly cannot affect the volume of sales, because wealthy people never even look at price tags. Price tags are for poor people, and poor people never have enough culture to appreciate music. Don't get me wrong, lots of poor people enjoy listening to music, but they do not truly appreciate the art enough to pay for it.

Poor people spend their money on drugs and prostitutes; they never have enough left for CDs. This is why they steal them from the wealthy. The decline in record sales is a result of two factors: online file sharing, and the increasingly user-friendly nature of computers. When computers became simple enough for the inferior minds of the lower classes, the Neanderthals began stealing them to look up porn. When the Neanderthals finally passed out from excessive masturbation, their wives took their turn on the computer and discovered file swapping.

This discovery has caused a dramatic reduction in records being stolen from wealthy people. The wealthy people no longer need to replace their CDs every month, and this is causing the woeful decline in record company profit margins. File sharing has removed the need of the lower and middle classes to steal music from wealthy. They now only steal the computers of the wealthy. The computers allow them to view pornography for free and steal music, all from the comfort of their own homes.

The simple minds of lower class mongrels cannot understand what they are doing. They foolishly live for the present and give no thought to a potentially silent tomorrow. The recording industry must find a solution to this problem quickly, or the day the music dies may soon come.